when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Say something about gay babies.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
