Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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