i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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