Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
