pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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