I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
