Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
nutella sex= disaster
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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