Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
