You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
