swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
