I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
