so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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