vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
