What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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