You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
