Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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