Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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