If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
