I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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