I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
