Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this boner is exhausting
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
