my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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