Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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