Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
