I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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