I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize