So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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