you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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