clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
