remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
