It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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