You smell like stripper and shame
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize