My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
