Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Someone shattered a urinal.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
