He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
