I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
