i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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