dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize