dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
