Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
