the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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