you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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