I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize