Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
