i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
