It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
