Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
