I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
