I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
