I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
