...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
