Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My friends, they love my intelligence
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
