walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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