I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
