When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
