Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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