I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
