Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
