We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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