Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
handjob tips. give me some.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
