I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
