So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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