"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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