i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
