My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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