the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
