so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize