nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize