I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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