wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
