We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
