Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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