your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
