Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize