I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im six kinds of drunk right now
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize