Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
