I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
