The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have peed in a lot of sinks
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize