Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
